Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
