lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
