you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
