I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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