A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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