my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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