Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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