This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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