So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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