how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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