Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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