Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
