My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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