I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
