alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize