help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
