singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
