dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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