i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize