Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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