there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
