saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
