I'm sorry my penis didn't work
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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