he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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