I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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