the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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