she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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