Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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