are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
