If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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