whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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