Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
