so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
