I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
