i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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