she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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