I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
