great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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