I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
