I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize