Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
