I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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