I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
