just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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