But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
