i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
