just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my phone needs a breathalizer
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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