She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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