I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
