so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
