Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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