come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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