why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he shaved USA in his pubs
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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