problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
