This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
