i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
