Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize