I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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