remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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