I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
