I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
