well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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