i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
