508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
