Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
