I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Let's paint friendship bongs
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
