That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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