Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
